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Bush Announces: "WE GOT HIM!"Proponents claim Saddam Hussein's capture justifies President's rush to war and brings new meaning to Christmas
The leaders of the anti-war movement have had to scramble to spin the latest news in their favor. "I don't think it changes anything," said Democratic presidential hopeful Howard Dean. "The truth is that America isn't any more safe today than it was while Hussein was hiding in that hole."
"It's significant for several reasons. First, it takes one really dangerous guy off the streets," explained White House press secretary Scott McClellan. "When the marines captured him, they thought he had possibly unleashed a weapon of mass destruction, some sort of deadly gas. It turned out that he just hadn't bathed in the last three months." Conservative Christian groups praised God for the capture of Hussein. "We believe this proves once and for all that God is a Christian," said teleevangelist Jerry Falwell. "It truly brings a new meaning to Christmas. It's like God gave a Christmas present to his chosen representative, George W. Bush." Over 400 American soldiers and marines have died since the war in Iraq began in March of this year. But, the White House believes the capture of Hussein makes the loss of life worth the cost. "Sure, a few guys died along the way," beamed McClellan, "but we got him! We caught Saddam Hussein! Why bring up a bunch of negative when we caught the greatest threat to the human race hiding in a spider hole?" But Dean remained unconvinced. "We caught one tyrant hiding in a dirt hole, armed with a .22 caliber pistol. It's hard to believe this guy was a threat to anyone except those who had the misfortune to be within breathing distance of him." |
The war in Iraq took a positive turn this week with the announced capture of former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. In a White House
press conference, President Bush announced triumphantly "We Got Him!" The President proceeded to brief the press on how marines captured Hussein hiding in a "spider hole," which the President said was a hole normally reserved for spiders.
Proponents of the war, however, disagree with Dean's assessment and see great significance in the capture of the former Iraqi leader.