Mysterious Strom Thurmond Death Explained

Secrets concerning the demise of the ancient Senator are revealed

The death of former South Carolina Senator Strom Thurmond has shaken the foundations of the Republican Party. Now, it appears that Thurmond, sensing his mission on Earth was complete, simply gave up on life and accepted a quiet death. But, it didn't have to be that way.

Sources close to the Senator have recently confirmed what until now only a small number of Strom watchers have suspected: Senator Thurmond was not human.

The revelation was confirmed by a doctor who has asked to remain anonymous, fearing reprisals from the hand full of confidants who knew the most secretive of secrets surrounding Thurmond's life.

"He was actually much older than most people could imagine. He once told me he was over eight hundred years old. I laughed every time I heard the media cite his age as one hundred," said the doctor.

"We kept him alive," continued the doctor, "through frequent blood transfusions. He had to have all of the blood in his body drained and replaced at least twice a year. You could tell when he needed the procedure, as his walking pace would slow and he would appear to lose concentration."

The doctor was more circumspect concerning the source of the blood transfusions. He did, however, indicate that Senator Thurmond was the first southern Senator to hire black aides and suggested that further investigations might be appropriate to determine the fate of some of those aides.

One of Senator Thurmond's colleagues who seems to be most upset concerning these revelations is former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott (R-Miss.). Senator Lott lost his majority position in the Senate when he made what many perceived as an off color remark about Senator Thurmond's failed 1948 presidential bid.

In hindsight, it appears that Lott's remark - that "we would be a lot better off today if Senator Thurmond had won in 1948" - was a comment on Senator Thurmond's inhuman immortality and not a comment racial issues. Senator Lott, widely believed to have known of Thurmond's secret, was apparently referring to the fact that we would all be better off if we could all live for hundreds of years as Senator Thurmond had.

Towards the end of his life, our medical source confirmed that Senator Thurmond became convinced that his work on Earth was finished. Through President Bush -- who Thurmond referred to privately as "Beelzebush" -- Thurmond would often comment that the United States was heading in the right direction.

A private closed casket ceremony was held for Senator Thurmond and for good reason.

"He chose not to have another transfusion. Without another transfusion, his body aged rapidly," said the doctor, "hundreds of years of aging occurred almost overnight and the body just disintegrated. I don't know what kind of creature he was, but I hope there's not another one like him."

Senator Lott has proposed a national blood donor day in honor of Senator Thurmond's achievements and in his memory.

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