Texas Senators Run For Lives

It's a repeat run for the border for Texas Democrats on the lamb

In a repeat of the shenanigans that took place weeks ago with the fleeing of Texas congressmen to Oklahoma, Texas senators have flown the coop, this time to neighboring New Mexico. Governor Rick Perry called the actions of the fugitive senators "outrageous" and "cowardly."

At issue is a redistricting bill that Republicans have drawn. The redistricting plan would likely guarantee Republicans 19 of Texas' 32 seats in the U.S. House of Represenatives. Currently, 17 of the 32 seats are held by Democrats.

"Texas is largely Republican, in spite of the fact that we keep sending Democrats to Congress," said Governor Perry. "Something has to be done to change this."

That "something" appears to be redistricting. Under the plan proposed by Republicans, Texas would be carved up into unusually shaped districts designed to give Republicans a majority in at least 19 of the districts. Some districts represented by Democrats would be eliminated entirely, while others would be merged into districts which have a high concentration of Republican voters.

"It's outrageous and cowardly, alright," said Democratic senator Royce West (D-Dallas), from his hotel room in Albuquerque, New Mexico. "The Republicans get control of the congress for the first time in a hundred years and the first thing on the agenda is stealing house seats for Karl Rove and Tom DeLay."

Although they have been absent from the public debate on the redistricting issues, it is widely suspected that President Bush's top advisor, Karl Rove, and Houston Congressman Tom DeLay (R-Sugarland), are the motivating forces behind drawing up the new redistricting map to insure that Republicans retain control of the House of Representatives.

The redistricting map has been criticized by Democrats for the outrageous reshaping of the congressional map.

"There's one district in Houston that includes only Tom DeLay's subdivision in Houston. Then, there's there's the new 15th district, which is an eight mile strip spanning almost the entire north-south distance of the state. Austin itself has been divided into four districts," said Senator West, adding, "One district that used to vote Democratic has been redistricted as part of Mexico. I guess somebody ought to inform the people of Harlingen that they don't live in the United States anymore."

Redistricting may not be the worst of the fears for the AWOL Democrats. Governor Perry has ordered the Texas Rangers to hunt down and bring back the missing lawmakers "dead or alive." In addition, Congressman DeLay has promised the support of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security to assist the Rangers in the "search and recover" mission, if needed.

"One way or another, those guys are coming back to Texas," promised Governor Perry, "and we're sending more Republicans to Washington."

"We're considering seeking political asylum in New Mexico," said Senator West. "Most of us have families back in Texas, though, and I doubt the Rangers would let them leave, at least until we come back and allow the Republicans to pass the redistricting plan. It's sad that our state has become more like a dictatorship than a democracy."

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