Ashcroft Gives Limbaugh a Pass

The cases against Limbaugh and Chong are just "different," says AG's office

Attorney General John Ashcroft has decided not to file charges against popular conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh after admissions from the host that he purchased illegal drugs. Limbaugh has since checked himself into a drug rehabilitation center and has promised "not to do it again."

The decision brought jeers from fans of comedian Tommy Chong, who decried bias on the part of Ashcroft who earlier prosecuted Chong for selling "glassware" designed to be used for smoking marijuana. Chong pled guilty and is serving a 9 month jail sentence. He has also pledged to donate the profits from his prior sales to a charitable organization, Dads Opposing Opium Barbituates Inhalents and Ecstasy (D.O.O.B.I.E.).

A spokesman for the Justice Department tried to differentiate the cases:

"Mr. Chong was actually selling items that could be used by people who might go out and buy illegal drugs," said spokesman Robert Majors. "The attorney general considers this far worse than what Mr. Limbaugh has done, which is simply try to acquire some painkillers for his aching back. Plus, we do have Mr. Limbaugh's word about not ever doing it again. We don't have that kind of promise from Mr. Chong."

But Ashcroft's critics say that if both men broke the law, both should be punished.

"Sometimes, you have to weigh what people have contributed to society in terms of meting out punishments," Majors tried to explain. "Rush Limbaugh is a beloved hero to so many people and he stands for morals and patriotism, so we can overlook a little indiscretion on his part."

Majors was less complimentary in his remarks about Chong.

"Here's a guy who made his reputation off selling records of himself smoking dope and making jokes about it. Then he has the nerve to entice the youth of America to follow the same dark course that he chose by selling them these dope smoking devices. Mr. Chong needed to be taught a lesson."

Ashcroft's office has not yet decided to pursue charges against Mr. Limbaugh's maid, who acted as a go-between for Limbaugh and his drug dealers.

"See, the maid hasn't contributed nearly as much to society as Mr. Limbaugh has," continued Majors, "so we may not be inclined to give her as much leniency."

Limbaugh's radio show has announced a 30 day hiatus, while the popular host tries to kick the habit. This means Limbaugh will be back on the air long before Mr. Chong is finished serving his 9 month jail sentence.

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