Fleischer Out, Blair Hired

Disgraced New York Times Reporter Replaces Fleischer

White House Press Secretary Ari Fleischer called it quits this week, with the surprise announcement of his resignation. Almost as surprising, the White House announced Fleischer's replacement would be disgraced New York Times reporter Jayson Blair.

"We felt he was the right guy for the job for several reasons," explained Bush svengali Karl Rove. "First, he's a black guy and we really would like to get more than 3% of the black vote in the next election. We can use him when we campaign in urban areas. Second, he has a lot of relevant experience."

Rove was more circumspect about how Blair's "experience" at the New York Times, would be relevant to the job of White House press secretary. However, the Inquisitor spoke with an unnamed state department source, who provided some insights into the White House's thinking.

"The job primarily involves exaggerating certain things and fabricating others," said our source. "Anyone who can distort the truth with a straight face is perfect for the job."

The latest move by the Bush administration is sure to cause some eye rolling in Washington. Senator Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.) commented, "Nothing coming from this President surprises me anymore. I can only guess that the Iraqi Minister of Information was unavailable for the job."

Fleischer gave the now standard "need to spend more time with my family" response to why he is departing from the administration.

Blair begins work on the Tuesday after Memorial Day.

Return to the Main Page