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FCC To Launch "Boobgate"Powell, Ashcroft pledge full investigation into lewd and disgusting breast baring stunt
According to FCC Chairman Michael Powell, "America is outraged." Powell adds that the FCC has received complaints from thousands of Americans who were flashed by Jackson. The FCC investigation is scheduled to begin immediately, pushing other federal business to the back burner. President Bush has expressed full support for the investigation, and Attorney General John Ashcroft has pledged to make the full resources of the FBI available to review the incident. FCC investigators have requested delivery of Jackson's costume, the red bra she was wearing underneath it, and Jackson's offending left breast. Powell has pledged to examine all three very closely.
"This is serious business," added Powell. "Almost 140 million Americans saw that breast, many of them traumatized by the experience. I would have to say it ranks just below 9/11 on the scale of national catastrophes we've had to endure during the last four years." Powell also indicated that future half time shows might need to be relegated to pay channels, like Showtime or The Playboy Channel. The Guiness Book of Records noted that Jackson's stunt may place her in the record books. It is believed that her breast exposure is the single largest exposure of its kind, far surpassing the breast flash given by Julie Andrews in the 1980's film "Victor/Victoria." |
The Federal Communications Commission has announced a full investigation into the incident that occurred at half time of the Super Bowl. During a brief moment at the conclusion of a performance by singers Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake, Timberlake tore away part of Jackson's costume, revealing her bare breast to a viewing audience estimated at 140 million.
Meanwhile, several dozen FBI agents have already been reassigned from homeland security to the Jackson breast investigation. White House spokesmen have even indicated that Kenneth Starr, who spent two years and $80 million investigating former President Clinton's sex life, could be appointed to determine the extent to which federal laws have been violated by the Jackson boo boo.