Halliburton's Overbillings

by Earl Barron
January 11, 2004

For the past few months, I have been acting as a special consultant to Halliburton as it rebuilds war torn Iraq. This explains both my unique perspective on the current issues concernig Halliburton and my absence from these pages during the last few months.

As you may know, Halliburton first came under fire for "winning" a no bid contract to assist with the reconstruction of Iraq. Most people have forgotten that now, which is far as I'm concerned is a good thing, since there was never a question that the Vice President's former company deserved to profit a little from this war.

The current problems stem from some revelations that Halliburton has been overcharging the government. Now, I have to tell you that this is simply untrue. I have some first hand experience with this, having worked with the Halliburton folks and having had them scrutinize my bills that they dutifully paid upon demand.

They had no problem passing along my first class airfare, the fact that I needed an entire floor of the Baghdad Hilton to run my satelite office of Barron Oil, or a new Hummer to drive around to inspect the oil fields. These were all sensible expenses, of course, but they were nonetheless given a close review by Halliburton's accountants. One of them had the nerve to ask me if I really needed the upgraded car stereo with DVD player, if that goes to show you how careful they are with the government's money.

I also have reviewed Halliburton's pricing modules and seen how they calculate the charges that are passed along to the government. Basically, they are only getting reimbursement of out-of-pocket expenses and the standard 800% mark up on labor and materials. Yes, there really are $200 hammers.

For those of you who question how Halliburton can do business like this with American tax dollars at stake, I would say that you simply don't know how business is done at this level. When you get to be as big as Halliburton and have friends in high places who make sure you get the plum contracts, you don't have to worry about accounting to anyone.

If you don't believe that, just wait and see because anyone who thinks Halliburton will be fired and replaced with another contract probably thinks Al Gore won the last election.

Previous Columns by Earl Barron:

• Bush's Oily African Adventure (July 10, 2003)
• Red White and Blue Hummers (June 12, 2003)
• Business As Usual For Halliburton (May 8, 2003)
• Peace Demonstrations Insult Bush (February 8, 2003)
• Where Do I Park My New Yacht? (January 17, 2003)
• Let's Go To War Now! (January 10, 2003)
• Getting Some Guinea Oil (December 6, 2002)

by Earl Barron
July 10, 2003

President Bush is off in Africa this week, talking about how bad we all feel because our country had slaves so many years ago and doing a little bit of apologizing for the warlords and such. Hey, you know, it's just one of those things politicians have to do. Especially if they have something we want. And they do.

It's black and it's worth its weight in gold. No, I'm not talking about more slave labor. We're past all that. I'm talking about oil.

You don't think President Bush really went to Africa to talk about things like AIDS, did you? I hardly think so. He's there to work out some business deals for oil.

You see, we get about 15% of our oil from Africa. Countries like Equatorial Guinea. Yeah, I know, you've never heard of it before but Bush has. He opened up the embassy again and made nice with the government over there, just to tap into their oil supplies. It happened right after he was sworn in back in 2001.

Never mind that Equatorial Guinea has one of the worst human rights records in the world or that the millions of dollars that flow into the country go right into the Swiss bank accounts of the country's corrupt leaders. That's not our problem. It's not our problem either that the average citizen of Equatorial Guinea lives on a few pennies a day and a lot of them starve.

I'm not even all that worried that the leader of Equatorial Guinea has bought a large mansion in the United States with all the money that's flowed into his "country's" accounts. It's just none of my business.

But, speaking of business, that's what this trip is all about. The President is looking out for you and me. Well, maybe he's looking out for me more, since I own an oil company here in Dallas, but he's looking out for you too. Pretty soon, ChevronExxonTexaco will have an oil deal to begin stealing away some of Africa's greatest natural resource, and you can refill your SUV to your heart's desire.

by Earl Barron
June 12, 2003

The oil began flowing again from Iraq this past week. The spigots are on full blast. Heck, we're even letting them keep some of the profits to rebuild what we went over there and tore up.

This week, I wanted to call to your attention something that has been catching my attention for the past few months. As gasoline prices have soared into the $2 per gallon range, all sorts of liberal types are pointing accusing fingers at the people who drive large sport utility vehicles or "SUVs." Why, in some parts, I've even heard SUV drivers called unpatriotic.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Now, that we control the Iraqi oil, we have vast supplies of oil, more than we know what to do with. It is our duty, as patriotic Americans, to support the rebuilding of Iraq by using as much of this oil as we possibly can. The best way to do that is by driving the biggest and most fuel inefficient vehicle you can find.

The Republicans in Congress understand this dynamic well. When the oil business is happy, everyone's happy. That's why they have resisted increasing the mileage standards on SUVs. In fact, they openly encourage big ole gas hogs that get 3 and 4 miles to the gallon.

Here's what I'm doing for my part. Thanks to President Bush's new tax cut, I was able to buy myself a new red, white and blue Hummer - not that little bitty Hummer they just came out with but the big one, just like the Army drives.

I outfitted my new Hummer with a large American flag that covers the back windshield and wraps around the back windows. Plus, when you honk the arm, "The Star Spangled Banner" begins playing. It's quite an attention getter.

I can attest to the fact that not only are these Hummers fuel inefficient - mine gets a patriotic 2 miles per gallon on a good day - but they handle extremely well. As I was pulling out of Starbucks the other day, some old bum carrying a "Homeless Vet" sign approached my car for a handout, and I narrowly missed hitting him. Although I managed to blow the horn in time, the tail wind off the Hummer knocked the old burnout to the ground. I got to tell you it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The poor guy probably thought he was back in 'Nam except that it was an Old Glory decorated Hummer playing the national anthem that knocked him over instead of a Viet Cong sniper.

Anyway, I highly recommend the Hummer or if you can't afford one, just get one of those big Lincolns Navigators or one of those Cadillac Escalades. They're not as nice as the Hummer but they'll do. There's no better way to show your patriotism. We all have to do our part to help rebuild Iraq, one tankfull at a time.

by Earl Barron
May 8, 2003

This week, I happened to come across a letter written by Congressman Henry Waxman (D-Ca.) to Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. The letter raised concerns about Halliburton doing business illegally in Iraq. Congressman Waxman asked several pointed questions that insinuated wrongdoing on Halliburton's part.

This sounded unusual to me, given what I know of Halliburton, so I gave my friends over there a call and see what was up.

As it turns out, Halliburton really didn't do any business with Iraq at all. What happened was that Halliburton bought a company called Dresser Industries that was doing business in Iraq. So, the business with Iraq was done by Dresser, not Halliburton. Now, all this was done back when Dick Cheney was running Halliburton so you can trust it was all ethical and legal.

Halliburton was operating within the law, not having actually done business itself but having done business through its 100% controlled subsidiary, Dresser. Dresser does the work, Halliburton reaps the profits. Some may cry foul, but I call it good business.

Congressman Waxman seems to believe that Halliburton has somehow violated what he calls the "spirit" of the laws against trading with Iraq by doing business through a subsidiary. Well, sorry sir, but that's just how business is done by large American companies. You want to deal with Libya, then form a foreign subsidiary and have it do business with Qadafi. Need to contract with Iran? Not a problem. A foreign subsidiary can do all the work for the ayatollahs, send all the profits back home, and it's all hunky dory.

If you need further proof that this is how the system works, look no further than the Bush administration's doing business with the Taliban just months before 9/11. Halliburton's business dealings can't be any worse than that.

I doubt that Congressman Waxman is going to like the response he gets from Secretary Rumsfeld, if there's any response at all because, like it or not, Halliburton isn't really guilty of doing anything other than "business as usual."

by Earl Barron
February 8, 2003

I am appalled by the various anti-war peace demonstrations that are going on throughout this country. In fact, I have never seen such a display of anti-Americanism.

George W. Bush is our duly elected President. With the Supreme Court's order making him President some two years ago came the power to make all decisions concerning the welfare of this country, including the power to go to war should he see fit.

These peace demonstrators, led by the Hollywood types and other left wingers, show terrible disrespect to our duly-appointed President. If these people are not careful, I predict a fate for them almost as bad as the one that Saddam is going to face.

These people obviously think they have a voice that needs to be heard. That thinking indicates a woefully misplaced sense of importance, if you ask me. President Bush doesn't answer to people in the street, no matter how many millions are assembled. The people in this country who oppose his policies - and therefor show their anti-Americanism - are irrelevant. He just turns off the TV set.

I suppose these people could vote against him, mind you, in the next election but I have heard some rumors that the new Patriot II Act will allow John Ashcroft to track the voting habits of Americans in 2004 and anyone not supporting the President's re-election campaign will be subject to charges of anti-Americanism and of offering material aid to the terrorists. Besides, I think we know which nine votes count when it comes to election time.

In the meantime, I would offer the following advice to our beloved President:

1. If these demonstrations continue, send in the marines and the National Guard. Don't hesitate to use tanks and tear gas to put an end to this nonsense. This tact will show the American people just how powerful the military can be at dealing with dissent.

2. Take names and addresses of everyone involved with organizing the protests. Have the FBI investigate them all. Harrass them and expose them for the terrorist-supporting liberals that they are. Once Patriot II becomes law, strip them of their citizenship and send them off to Kosovo or some place like that.

3. Organize a pro-government "war for oil" protest with important oil industry speakers. Dick Cheney could talk. Maybe the heads of Texaco and Exxon could speak too. I'd be willing to throw my two cents in, as the President and CEO of Barron Oil Company. Let's remind the American people how important oil is to our economy. After all, our SUVs don't run on water, you know. Remind them that we have to make our oil suppliers safe from terrorism and free from despots like Hussein. Oh, and don't forget to mention something about those weapons of mass demolition.

Peace protests turn my stomach. We live in a world today that's anything but peaceful. If you want something, you take it. President Bush knows what he wants and all the protesters in the world aren't going to stop him from getting it. Only one voice matters to President Bush, and that is the sound of his own.

by Earl Barron
January 17, 2003

I just got some fabulous news from my accountant. I'm getting a huge tax break if this new Bush tax plan goes through. I called Cassie as soon as I heard the news and told her that we could go ahead and get that villa she's had her eye on down there on the French Riviera.

What I found out was that they're not going to tax the dividends any more. That's great news for guys like me who own or manage our own companies. See, I am the principal stockholder of Barron Oil Company. It's a privately held company so I won't divulge the bottom line to you all but I'll tell you that the tax savings I get are well into the seven figures, and that's going to be an every year thing from now on.

My CPA also told me that other owners and CEOs would get similar benefits. Mike Eisner over at Disney would have saved about $1.3 million if the Bush plan had been in effect last year. That's chicken feed compared to Sandy Weill at Citigroup, who would have pocketed an extra $6.9 million if his dividends had been tax-free.

Nowadays, companies compensate their executives with stock and stock options, which means the executives and higher ups own a larger percentage of the company than Joe Average out on the street. President Bush's plan gives the average CEO, like myself, the incentive to improve the bottom line so that our dividends are bigger.

Shoot, I don't know what we'll do with next year's extra tax money. Maybe buy up more of the French coastline or maybe just sock it away in the bank. Even better yet, maybe I'll go buy some other stocks that pay dividends so I can make even more tax-free money! Thank you W!

Every time I pick up the paper and see one of those liberals saying the tax bill won't stimulate the economy, I just want to scream at him "Where do I park my new yacht, you moron?" cause that's what all the tax savings have allowed me to buy. Well, that and my new home on the Riviera -- and more stocks. To me, it's all very stimulating.

by Earl Barron
January 10, 2003

In his little corner of the world, I suspect that Sadaam Hussein is huddled in a bunker, waiting for the first bomb to drop. He’s probably told ‘em to gas up the plane, so he can run off to Yemen or Saudi Arabia or some other safe haven as soon as the first B-1 comes into view. If his bags aren’t packed, they ought to be, because, Sadaam, we’re coming after you.

More specifically, we’re coming to liberate the people of your country from your tyranny. No more weapons of mass destruction. No more U.N. weapons inspectors. No more tough talk. Now, is the time for action.

Your people and your country will be liberated. Your oil will be liberated too, free to flow all they way through Kuwait right into those tankers parked in the Persian Gulf with stars and stripes flying high. Freedom is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

I understand the world community wanting more “evidence” of Iraq’s wrongdoing, but the time for making a court case is over. All objections are overruled by Judge Bush. We’re pretty sure of what we know, and what we know is that Sadaam has to go. If the Italians and the French don’t want to help with the liberation, they can stay at home. We don’t need ‘em. United Nations? They can stay away too. Of course, we know you’ll be back when you need to fill up those little Fiats and Citroens.

Seriously, war is never something to be entered into flippantly. That’s not what’s happened here. President Bush and Defense Secretary Rumsfeld have been talking about this for months, so you know it’s not an idea that just popped into their heads yesterday. Poppy Bush probably had a few insights of his own, since he and Sadaam are old friends.

Lives will no doubt be lost, as the Iraquians won’t go down without a fight. I have no doubt that we might lose a few American lives in the struggle to free the Iraquian people. Those courageous men will be in our prayers.

There’s a beautiful monument in Washington D.C. commemorating those who lost their lives in the Vietnam War. It’s a long black wall with names etched on it. It’s an appropriate and moving monument to the courage it took to fight the communist foes in southeast Asia.

In a few years, there may be an Iraquian War Memorial too. If there is, I suggest it be shaped like a large oil well, so that all of the people who see the names etched on its side will remember just why we fought this war. The elimination of weapons of mass destruction and the liberation of the great oil supply of Iraq are two goals that go hand in hand, two ends that share a common means.

Look out Sadaam. We’re coming for ya!

by Earl Barron
December 6, 2002

The liberal media is once again attacking our President. What else is new?

This time it’s because he’s reopened the U.S. Embassy in Equatorial Guinea. Huh? I know, it doesn’t make much sense to me either. The leftist, Clinton, closed up the embassy in the 90’s saying that the country routinely abuses its citizens’ civil rights and tortures political opponents. Maybe he was right, I don’t know. I haven’t ever been there and don’t intend to go. But, I do know one thing. There’s oil over there and we’re going to get it.

I’m guessing the liberals haven’t picked up on this yet, but oil is what drives the economy and the conservative platform, as well it should. After all, without oil, how would you drive your car? How would you get around? By horse and buggy? Walking? Electric cars? Give me a break.

Oil is one of the biggest reasons W. was elected in the first place. Being from Texas, he understands how critical oil is to the American lifestyle and how we must do everything and anything to control the world’s oil supplies, at any cost. Look out, Saddam!

Now, you might be asking, how did the President come to reopen up the embassy and why was it important. Well, it was important because we want to be on good terms with the Guinean government. And, well we should. Civil rights are a local issue. There’s no call for us to be poking our heads in every country’s business, unless the business involves oil! Plus, the head Guinean has used some of his oil profits to buy a big old mansion in Maryland or one of those eastern states. He’s our neighbor now!

Anyway, Tom Hicks who heads up Triton Energy, got together with some of the big boys, as I like to call them, ChevronTexacoExxonMobil (I think they’re one big company now, but I’m not sure) and they got W. on the hot line. Tommy and George W. go way back, you know, ‘cause Tommy bought the Texas Rangers (the baseball team, not the state military) from W. back when W. was governor of Texas. Rumor has it, W. made a tidy profit on that one. See, and everyone thinks he’s dumb.

Tommy greased the skids a little more by giving $125,000 to W.’s campaign and what do you know, the doors to that embassy opened up like clockwork.

So, instead of counting chads and hugging trees, the liberal media should just wise up and figure out which side of the bread is buttered and what kind of oil is buttering it.